Hi, my name is Lauren, and I’m a hot mess mom. *Waves*
You may judge me at my first grader’s soccer field, because my tee shirt has a hole in it, my curly hair is standing out in 5 different directions (the curly girl method hates me today, guys), my leggings have booger smears on them, and I showed up with my small son in tow, in his bare toes.
That’s right, no shoes people. It’s how we role. I pretend we are earthy and call it grounding. But really, I’m just a hot mess. At least he has pants on, right?
Here’s the thing about me though, even in all my hot-mess-mom glory.
Being a hot mess mom is kind of awesome.
And getting to be friends with the hot mess mom? Well, that’s even better. I mean, we all have a little hot mess in us, but most moms I find are embarrassed about the fact that they don’t always have their act together. We need to stop, embrace motherhood for all of it’s insanity, and make friend with your local hoot mess mom. Here’s why:
1. I make you feel better about your parenting
I’m the mom you can confess all your parenting fails to, because I will make you feel better by winging back a dozen epic fail stories of my own. You can feel better about the Cheeto that somehow got taped to your yoga pants, because at least you didn’t loose your car keys for three days only to have your husband find them in your purse. It’s totally cool that your kid is melting down in the middle of this school event, because mine did too, about 5 minutes ago. Yes, you can let your kid dig in to my kids snacks. My kid can learn to share, and God knows he’ll be the one begging off of you next time I forget.
2. I’ll never judge you.
As reigning queen in the hot mess mom category, you’ll never have to worry feeling judged by the hot mess mom. Mostly because she has no room to talk (see above).
3. I’m always down to help
I know how hard parenting is. I see you, and I want to help, because I’ve been there. We both want the best for our children, our communities, our families… and ourselves. So sure! Sign me up to send a zillion fundraising letters out for the school’s PTO. In a pinch and need me to watch your kid? The more the merrier, we embrace the chaos! Oh, and that last minute potluck (that I maybe forgot about until the family group text an hour ago)? I have the perfect brownie recipe that whips up in 30 minutes. Not because I’m, Betty Crocker, but because I’ve forgotten about enough dinners until the last minute that I have the darn thing memorized. I’ll leave my kitchen trashed but brownies will be hot and my kids running and screaming out the door- hopefully with their shoes. Because I’ve let the “extra”, tidy, tie it up with a bow stuff go from my mom guilt– I can master and plot and plan and adjust and execute like a pro. Just don’t expect my house (or me, or my kids) to reflect it.
4. My kids won’t judge you either
If my six year old is over for an afternoon of play dates and you spend half the time screaming at your kids for not getting along, she’s not going to think twice about it, because chances are, she’s been the kid yelled at, too. She’s been the kid who refused to clean up, who sassed her mom, who wouldn’t eat dinner. She knows what it feels like, and even better- she’s not ashamed of feeling those big feelings, or that she got scolded. She’s been there, she’s just happy to have a friend to hang out with and get out of the house for a while. She won’t come home telling me what a mess your house is- because hers is too, and it’s totally normal for her.
5. We can smuggle Kahlua in our coffee for 8 a.m. soccer games together
Okay, so this one may be meant a little flippantly. But! I AM the mom you can JOKE about smuggling alcohol to children’s functions with (shrugs). I decided that we give zero effs the second we walked out the door without looking in a mirror first, so I may as well embrace it by topping my morning mommy juice off with some special mommy juice. God knows we need a little help, especially if the rec board actually expects parents to be bright eyed and bushy tailed, with kids fed and in clean uniforms at 8am on a weekend. At least with a little somthin’ somethin’ in our cups, we won’t care as much when our kid melts down in the middle of the game because she’s too hot and refuses to play. Or, on the flip side, we get to be the extra fun, loud moms, who yells and cheers on everyone in the team! It’s a win-win. Sunday Morning Soccer games are the new Friday night clubbing!
There is the big secret, that us hot mess moms don’t always tell you. (As we use our diaper bags to hide the coffee stain on our super cute “mother hustler” graphic tee)
(No, really, true story. I spilled my Starbucks down my cute graphic tee on my way to the Big Latch On. You know, the one that I helped organize and photograph. You know, the event I should have looked super collected and together at.) The reason there are so many hot mess moms like me out there in today’s world, is because we are trying so freaking hard to do it all. Most of the time, we WANT to do it all, and can’t. So, some things have to give.
But when we embrace our hot mess mom-ness, we can strive to balance out a little self-care with a lot of crazy. And then we realize that we really are the best kind of mom: real. And real moms are the best kind, because we are teaching our kids that it’s okay to be real, to be fallible, and that we can make mistakes and still pick ourselves back up again.
We are teaching ourselves, and each other, about giving ourselves a little grace.
And that’s the best kind of mom.